Saturday, April 25, 2009

Loss

How do you handle the death of a child? How do you pull yourself together to be a counselor to all the students affected by this tradegy? How do you grieve yourself over a child whom you loved from the first moment you met her three years ago? She was a student of mine for two years and now I was her counselor. How do I go into that classroom, that once was my own, and help the teacher inform them that their classmate died that morning? Tell me, how are you supposed to keep your composure when one of the children asks "Why did she die, she was just a child like me?" Tell me. How do you do it?

I lost it. Up until that point I was able to shed a few tears, help write the script that the classroom teachers would have to read, help children who might have trouble with this news, who may have other past losses surface. Up until that one question. Then the tears and reality hit, and I don't know how to handle it. And I don't want to hear all those syrup-ie answers about her being in heaven all healed and able to walk again. I just want to know, how do I handle it? How do I face those children on Monday and help them through this when I myself don't know how?