I was crazy - at least when viewed from outward eyes and hearts looking at me. But the view from within was not so crazy. That particular decision had caused me to come to a point in my walk with God where my declaration was "I'm all in. Wherever You lead, whatever the outcome and circumstances, I'm all in."
What people viewed as crazy, I was only experiencing peace beyond understanding. I was terrified -don't misunderstand me- but with that application, I was declaring God as Lord over my life. He had to bring me to that point where I was willing to follow Him, no matter the cost, no matter the disapproving voices, no matter the hurtful words spoken out of love and concern for me. It was a pivotal moment where I was choosing God above all else in my life. It was my heartfelt declaration of the understanding of His great Sacrifice for me....and my sacrifice to work in Afghanistan was nothing compared to His great love for me.
Now, we can all look back and see that He did not actually send me there, but to Brazil instead....and most people breathed a deep sigh of relief. But before Brazil could ever happen, I had to come to that place of all in. And I'm so grateful that He brought me to that moment. I'm also grateful for Brazil and my experiences there.
I don't know why this has come to the forefront of my heart and mind today....but I am challenged by it again. I wonder if I'm all in during this season of life? Or am I complacent?
I want to take a step back and make sure that I am all in, every day...for Him - no matter what - all in. Because to be all in, is to be on the most adventurous yet peace-filled journey that I could be on. And His power is Life when I'm all in.