Friday, December 18, 2009

And then...

"For such a time as this..." Esther 4:14

Esther's "for such a time as this" moment came through the ways of many 'and then' moments. God carved so many intricate details in her story that when the book of Esther is dissected, it is amazing to watch it all unfold with such precision. I am in the middle of a women's Bible study and we are completing Beth Moore's Esther study. I cannot tell you how many times my jaw has dropped open saying "wow"! Everything had to have happened at an exact moment, exact second even, for it all to unfold. But leading up to it all were 'and then' moments....or steps. If you were to take the book of Esther and bullet point all the 'and then' moments it would look like steps of a Honey Do list, with each one being checked off.

Well, as I lay awake once again in the wee hours of the morning this week, I realized all the 'and then' moments God played out just to make this week occur. And I am amazed. He knew what he was doing. Was building up momentum for the culmination of His grace, His love, and His mercy to be poured out on His children.

God placed the right people, in the right situations and moments for this all to unfold. I was just one of the playing pieces doing what He asked of me. And I think of that brave young lady from my previous post and her family (and thankfully they are His children too and have been in prayer about it all with me). . And God used them and placed each of them precisely where He wanted them to save someones life. And with all the 'and then' moments, He created a "for such a time as this" story this week. It brings me to tears to think of all that has had to happen to lead up to this, but I am so thankful that God is in control, and He saved one of His little children at a time where there is still hope for healing.

If ever you wonder why things are could very well be an 'and then' moment leading up to a very pivotal moment that God has orchestrated. Keep your eye's open for those moments, and don't forget to thank Him for them, no matter how hard they may be. I know I am thanking Him each moment right now.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


This week, there are so many at work who are excited for the Christmas break. And yes, I did just call it CHRISTmas Break. And I cannot blame them. I am too. Afterall, I get to escape these negative temperatures (seriously.....30 below is not my idea of fun. I like snow and all, but come on!) and retreat to sunny (cross-my-fingers) California.

But as a counselor, what I am learning is that this is not an exciting time for some. There are kids that don't really have a Christmas; however it's not those that are occupying my mind at this present time. It's those who are afraid of the break because horrible things happen when they spend too much time at home.

I can walk around the school and look into all their precious faces and it's hard to pick those kiddos out. But if you stop and look closely, you can see the fear in their eyes. It's not obvious....but it's there. And it saddens me. That the one place that should be a safe place for them, is not.

And that brings me to my title today: Courage. It amazes me how well kids can keep secrets....especially ones that shouldn't be kept. Which makes this one student so incredibly brave and couragous.

She didn't keep it in.

She spoke up.

When no one else did.

And because she did, she saved another student from a life that makes me sick to my stomach. She took that step and action was then taken to help her friend. And her friend may actually have a fearless Christmas now. The student may now be able to sleep through the night and know that they are safe from harm.

So this Christmas season, please keep this situation and this kiddo in your prayers. Life will be difficult but at least the student is now safe. And give thanks for another who was courageous enough to go against the grain.

And remember....God will win. So don't mess with Him!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Sunday, September 20, 2009

complacency: noun, plural -cies.
  • a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation, condition, etc.
So because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth.
-Revelation 3:16

Scary as it may be, that is where I have been this last year. Complacent with life, myself, my job. And truth be told, I hate it. I dislike the lack of challenge, of fire or passion. It drives me crazy to just "get by" in life. And the funny thing is, I haven't done anything to change it. Nor did I equate being lukewarm with complacency. Complacency sounded so much better (until I looked up the definition) than being lukewarm. But truth be told, I have been lukewarm. And now that I've realized my cover-up, it's time to face the truth and do something about it.


Something needs to change to shake me up, to give me passion, to make me feel alive again. And so, today, I began that journey. And for the first time in a year, something stirred within me, and I began to feel alive again. I cannot believe how I've missed that energy! Why did I let myself go so long in the desert?

Leave it to me to not just change one thing in my life but numerous things...and all at once. I don't like to just dip my toe in the water and turn around. When I do something, I want to jump in so that there is no looking back. God will pluck me out and dry me off if it is not what He wants. But if it is....all the more reason to just jump! And so, as I stand here getting ready to jump, I now see that I have a clear pool of refreshing water enticing me.

Here I go......

Friday, July 10, 2009

Geography Lesson

*You are entering into conversations bits throughout this past week. Be careful - this may scare you!*

Conversation #1:
Me: New Mexico. Now that wouldn't be a bad place to live.
Kayla: But you can't speak Spanish. You wouldn't survive there.
Me: New Mexico is in the UNITED STATES!
Kayla: Oh. I thought it was somewhere in Mexico.

Conversation #2:
Me: Rachel may get to visit Brazil.
Kayla: Brazil. Where's that?
Me: In South America.
Kayla: Which America do we live in?
Me: Seriously? You are asking me that? We live in North America.

Conversation #3:
Kayla: That's a cool license plate. They are from Saskatchewan. Where's that?
Me: In Canada.

And that folks, is the California education system at it's finest. :)

*And for the sake of my sister.....she really is smart....geography just isn't her subject!*

*And yes. I have a desire to move again. I just don't know where. I have the whole world full of possiblities. Any ideas? ....and California is not an option!*

Saturday, April 25, 2009


How do you handle the death of a child? How do you pull yourself together to be a counselor to all the students affected by this tradegy? How do you grieve yourself over a child whom you loved from the first moment you met her three years ago? She was a student of mine for two years and now I was her counselor. How do I go into that classroom, that once was my own, and help the teacher inform them that their classmate died that morning? Tell me, how are you supposed to keep your composure when one of the children asks "Why did she die, she was just a child like me?" Tell me. How do you do it?

I lost it. Up until that point I was able to shed a few tears, help write the script that the classroom teachers would have to read, help children who might have trouble with this news, who may have other past losses surface. Up until that one question. Then the tears and reality hit, and I don't know how to handle it. And I don't want to hear all those syrup-ie answers about her being in heaven all healed and able to walk again. I just want to know, how do I handle it? How do I face those children on Monday and help them through this when I myself don't know how?