Sunday, September 20, 2009

complacency: noun, plural -cies.
  • a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation, condition, etc.
So because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth.
-Revelation 3:16

Scary as it may be, that is where I have been this last year. Complacent with life, myself, my job. And truth be told, I hate it. I dislike the lack of challenge, of fire or passion. It drives me crazy to just "get by" in life. And the funny thing is, I haven't done anything to change it. Nor did I equate being lukewarm with complacency. Complacency sounded so much better (until I looked up the definition) than being lukewarm. But truth be told, I have been lukewarm. And now that I've realized my cover-up, it's time to face the truth and do something about it.

Change.

Something needs to change to shake me up, to give me passion, to make me feel alive again. And so, today, I began that journey. And for the first time in a year, something stirred within me, and I began to feel alive again. I cannot believe how I've missed that energy! Why did I let myself go so long in the desert?

Leave it to me to not just change one thing in my life but numerous things...and all at once. I don't like to just dip my toe in the water and turn around. When I do something, I want to jump in so that there is no looking back. God will pluck me out and dry me off if it is not what He wants. But if it is....all the more reason to just jump! And so, as I stand here getting ready to jump, I now see that I have a clear pool of refreshing water enticing me.

Here I go......