Broken Clay

I recently read an article that triggered a memory of a lesson I used with my 6th graders one year. The kids were having a very difficult time using their words kindly, so I had them take a fresh piece of paper, crinkle it into a ball as tight as it would go, and then open it up and try to smooth out all the wrinkles and make it clean again. They couldn’t. And what I told them is that their words are like that to others. Every time they say something unkind to someone, they cause a wrinkle…and as hard as we may try to iron out the page again, there is still a mark that is left. Well, this article I read earlier this week brought that back to mind but in a different perspective and in the form of clay pots. Allow me to share…

For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness, made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ~2 Corinthians 4:6-7

I am a clay pot in my Maker’s hands. I started out with value and beauty, untainted by the world. But as time passed, life experiences slowly chipped away at me, leaving scuffs and small scratches. If those small scratches weren’t enough, I then experienced things that caused severe blows and broke pieces off. It left me aching for what once was…the little girl of my childhood who was carefree and pranced around the house in my bathing suit (I don’t know why!), royal robe (bathroom towel) and paper crown (laden with jewels), declaring to all my royalty. But now, broken, bruised and chipped by life, I had been left wondering where to go. Wondering how to pick up the pieces…

It was at the cross, where my Maker, carefully examined each tattered piece, familiar with each circumstance that caused it…and where He began to slowly restore this clay pot.

But as He restored, there were parts that were so crushed they left tiny holes. But Jesus, with His hands bleeding from my sharp edges, and His blood covering me, recreated this pot and left His blood stained fingerprints all over His new creation. And He lovingly put me back together…even left some of the holes that couldn’t be patched and with persistence He reminded me that it is in those holes where His beauty is shining through in the depth of my brokenness. His light can shine in the brightest in them. It is in my brokenness that His glory shines through, showing the world that nothing is too great for Him to overcome.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. ~Psalm 147:3

These imperfections caused by life’s difficulties are a thing of glory – if I let them reflect His light. They have caused me to fall at the foot of His cross, to empty myself out before Him and to allow Him to reconstruct who I am so that I may be used by and for Him.

And while I was trying to piece together my own pot, there were pieces that just wouldn’t fit like they used to and I desperately wanted to take them apart, sand them down and try to fit them in again. I realized that sometimes God does that with us. He will allow us to go through the same lesson twice, sometimes even more, so that we can be sanded down…even to the point of causing a little hole in our pot, just so His glory can shine through.

In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven. ~Matthew 5:16

And even though I am imperfect, I am a new creation in Him. And I can trade in my bathing suit, robe and paper crown for “…a crown of beauty…a garment of praise…” (Isaiah 60:3)…and ultimately for a “crown of life” (Revelation 2:10) as I spend eternity with my Maker, the King of Kings, the Great I AM.

...and when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away. ~1 Peter 5:4

(to see the article that sparked this... go here.)

Baal Perazim

"When the Philistines heard that David had been anointed king over all Israel, they went up in full force to search for him..."

1 Chronicles 14:8

David was anointed by God for a purpose...to be king over His people so that God's people would know Him. But with that anointing, came opposition from the enemy. In this case, the Philistines. And it wasn't just one or two coming against David...but the full force. All. And what does he do? He goes out to meet them...

"...but David heard about it and went out to meet them."

1 Chronicles 14:8

I'm not so sure I'd have that courage, even if God told me to. One person against a full force?! No thank you!! But David is a better person than I am. Instead of fear or choosing to cower in a corner, he inquires of God. Now that's a smart man! I have something to learn from him!

"...so David inquired of God: 'Shall I go and attack the Philistines? Will you hand them over to me?' The Lord answered him, 'Go, I will hand them over to you.'"

1 Chronicles 14:10

But it gets even better...

"So David and his men went up to Baal Perazim and there he defeated them."

1 Chronicles 14:11

Sweet! God said David would be victorious and he was. But that's not what has my mind in a state of percolation. Instead, I'm focused on Baal Perazim. Do you know what it means? Good. Neither did I. So I looked it up...and it means "the Lord who breaks out".

Hmmmm...."the Lord who breaks out". Now the switch in my brain has been turned on. What are areas in my life where God needs to break out, where I need to relinquish control, where I need to stop looking at the circumstances and simply trust Him? Or, what are areas that He's already brought break through but I'm still not choosing to fully trust Him? Where have I let the enemy attack me again? Or...what are the things that God is wanting to break through in right now, but I'm too busy over analyzing it or I am trying to tell Him "No, I'm not ready"... See my state of percolation...all these questions...and no clear answers. Yet.

But moving on...(I really could camp there all day)...Look what happened to David after that victory...

"Once more the Philistines raided the valley; so David inquired of God again..."

1 Chronicles 14:13-14

Do you see what I see? God had already defeated the Philistines for David, already granted victory. And what do the Philistines do? Come back for more...glutton for punishment if you ask me! And yet that's exactly what our enemy does. he tries to defeat us and if he doesn't win, he tries again and again and again. His goal is to crush us. But if you look closely at what David did, you'll find the key to ultimate victory.

David inquired of God...again. He didn't wallow, whine, complain or pitch a fit like I'm prone to do. He instead went to God to inquire of His next move. And God didn't disappoint. He clearly stated what David was to do to gain the final victory (1 Chronicles 14:14-17).

What a lesson for me to have to grasp! There are things that I know God has called me to, and the enemy has attacked and God has brought victory....He has broken out. And yet, when the enemy attacks again, instead of turning back to God, I desire to throw my hands up and wave the white flag. But if God is the one who breaks out victory, who is the Baal Perazim, I need to stand steadfast in trusting Him in that valley no matter how many times the enemy tries to defeat me. I must inquire of God and let His power win the victory for me!

Worth It.

Faith in God that sees beyond present bitter setbacks. Freedom from the securities and comforts of the world. Courage to venture into the unknown and strange. Radical commitment in the relationships appointed by God. This is the woman of Proverbs 31:25 who looks into the future with confidence in God and laughs at the coming troubles.

~John Piper

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. ~Proverbs 31:25

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. ~Psalm 34:19

Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good. ~1 Peter 4:19

Even through the sins of his people, God plots for their glory...the worst of times is not wasted. When you think He is farthest from you, or has even turned against you, the truth is that as you cling to Him, He is laying foundation stones of greater happiness in your life...all things mysteriously serve God's good ends.

~John Piper

I may not fully understand trials, but I know that I can stand strong with the security that God has a purpose behind it all. It's not always about what I see, but more about the journey and the end result...and as long as I am still praising Him in the end, then all the trials are worth it.

If it draws me closer to You Lord, it was worth it.

If it causes me to lay down my life at Your feet, it was worth it.

If it causes me to abandon worldly pursuits, it was worth it.

If it pleases You, it was worth it.

If it causes me to love You all the more, it was worth it.

I'd rather experience the trials if it causes me to leave my comfort behind, pick up my cross, and follow You. My ultimate goal is to be found in You, to love and serve You. Your end result is the ultimate gain. And the funny thing is, the trials won't be so painful when I am looking into Your light. In fact, the pain may actually be pleasant and refreshing as I am refined for You.

Christian thanksgiving is the life of Christ in the heart - transforming the disposition and the whole character.

Thanksgiving must be wrought into the life as a habit - before it can become a fixed and permanent quality.

An occasional burst of praise, in the midst of years of complaining, is not what is required. Songs on rare, sunshiny days; and no songs when skies are cloudy - will not make a life of gratitude. The heart must learn to sing always.

The lesson is learned only when it becomes a habit which nothing can weaken. We must persist in being thankful.

When we can see no reason for praise - we must believe in the divine love and goodness, and sing in the darkness.

Thanksgiving has attained its rightful place in us, only when it is part of all our days and dominates all our experiences.

~J.R. Miller, 1912

Letter to Grandma

Dear Grandma Kay,

As I ponder life this past year, and losing you to cancer, I've thought of your influence in my life. Who knew that 10 years ago when you gifted me with the black leather journal, that my heart would find solace in the pages it held. That my mind would find the space to be calm. That my hand would record mistakes and lessons learned. Or that I would begin to find my identity in Christ. Your simple gift may not have seemed so profound then, but over the last 10 years it has propelled me on a journey closer towards my Savior.

And as I celebrate this first birthday without you, I can't help but ask "Did I show you Christ's love? Did you see Him in me?" And..."do you see me now...are you watching my life unfold as you sit near Him?"

I miss you and long to share my heart with you. But all I have to do is look around and I see the things your hands have crafted for me over the years. And I can look at who I am and see the legacy you've left behind in me. Parts of you are within me...my character, the way I love. I pray that that part of me never dies, that I can pass on those parts of you to my children one day. Thank you Grams for your influence upon my life. I love you and miss you today.

Love Your eldest grandchild,
Summer

P.S. A card just arrived when I got home. Grandpa lovingly sent me a card that you had made. Tears have come...I do miss you so very much! And I can still hear you say, just a few days before you passed "Your eyes are sparkling. You are so beautiful". Yes grams...what you hopefully saw was Christ in me...and now may you be seeing Him face-to-face.

A Lesson Revisited

I was just teaching this to some kiddos just yesterday. If we are not responsible then we will keep making the same mistakes until we take responsibility of them. Ugh! If only I had listened to what I was teaching. I wrote a post on Car Sickness (really...it's not entirely about what you might think!) earlier this summer and as I was writing my thoughts out the other day, they seemed vaguely familiar.

Questions. Doubts. Thoughts. All tumble through my mind. Wondering when and where I lost sight of all that's important.

Struggling. Just like Peter, who had the faith to step out of the boat - because his eyes were on Jesus. And who sunk the moment he looked at the sights around him.

I've stopped looking at Jesus and have let others dictate my relationship with Him. Allowed them to measure if my faith was strong. Looked at the world for confirmation that I was doing alright. And as I did, my God-confidence faltered. I have been allowing others to determine my worth and have let their opinions of things to determine my security.

I know how wrong this is. And yet, instead of stopping it, I reverted to my old self and continued until I felt beaten down and broken.

And at the end of this brokenness, there He is. Arms open wide. Waiting with love.

As I settle into His loving embrace and turn my eyes back to THE Prize, peace envelops me. My faith rises and I desire only Him once again.

If I covet any place n earth but the dust at the foot of the Cross, then I know nothing of Calvary love.
~Amy Carmichael

Foundational living

For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.

Hebrews 11:10

foundation = a basis upon which something stands or is supported; an underlying base or support; a body or ground upon which something is built up or overlaid; a woman's supporting undergarment, corset...BAHAHA...just had to add that last one since it was in there..

Hebrews 11 is called the faith chapter. The Hall of Fame of Faith. And for good reasons. People like Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, the Israelites, Rahab, Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah (had to look that one up on Judges 11), David, Samuel, and the prophets are all mentioned in this particular chapter. Quite the list! And as I was reading I began to wonder...what was it about each of them that caused their name to be associated with faith?

And then I cam across Hebrews 11:10 and the answer seemed to leap off the page and to my heart.

The key is their foundation!

Now I've heard it said, and yes I've even sung the song...mind you this is my summary of it...and I'm singing it as I write it...

The wise man built his house upon the rock; the foolish man built his house upon the sand, and when the winds came his house went SPLAT! (Based on Matthew 7:24-27)

I'll admit it though, I've thought "Yea ok, I'll build my house upon Christ." Got it. Check...just like I was checking it off my grocery list. I don't think I've ever let the truth and weight of it sink into my heart.

In viewing this truth in such a flippant way, I've caused serious damage to myself. When the storms came, I've fallen apart under their weight. My foundation was built by my own human hands and they were not strong enough to withstand the pressures of this world. And here I was thinking I my faith was so strong!

As the truth of real faith cut open my heart, God in His love has been disciplining me and redirecting me to just Who the author of a foundation of faith really is. Him! When He is the architect and builder, the pressures of this world fade away. Yes they try to tear apart the foundation but God's Sovereign hands hold it together and nothing, NOTHING, of this world can tear apart His handiwork.

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. ~Hebrews 11:13

These people of faith stood strong even in the face of unfulfilled promises! They still trusted, believed, hoped and chose to put their faith in God. Their foundation was solid. Their lives were built by and upon Christ! Can I say the same?

As God tears down the foundation I built and builds His foundation in me, my questions is, in the end when faced with the possiblity of unfulfilled promises...will I still choose to trust and believe Him? I hope I can say yes, but really, if I'm honest with myself...will I really be able to say that?

God has placed promises in my heart, written them upon His foundation in my soul. If I never see them fulfilled, will I still have faith and hope as I take my last breath?

As I've been pondering this, God brought the answer.

And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth...they were longing for a better country - a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. ~Hebrews 11:13-16

Since the people of faith in Hebrews 11 built their foundation upon Christ and not this world, their focus was not on the world, but on eternity. Instead of dwelling on the unfulfilled promises, their eyes were on the promises that God had awaiting them in heaven.

My eyes, instead of looking at the unfulfilled promises, need to be on eternity. Faith and hope are built up by Christ so that I may worship Him, not only here on earth, but for eternity. God does not build my life upon His foundation just so that I may have a wonderful, happy life on earth but so that I may praise, worship and glorify Him...now and forever. My life should not be lived for just the worldly promises. Yes, experiencing them is wonderful...but not my goal. The people listed in Hebrews 11 were marked for their faith and trust in God...no matter what, no matter the cost. I wish and hope that in the end, my life will be marked by a desire and faith to do what God asked of me...no matter the cost, even if it means leaving this world with unfulfilled promises. Let my eyes be fixed upon Him and what He has awaiting me in eternity, and let my foundation be marked by a faith in Him.

On the First Day of School My Teacher Gave to Me...

I woke up this morning with the theme of "The 12 Days of Christmas" running through my head. But I was replacing it with lyrics to "The 1st Day of School". I know, the randomness of my brain. I can't control it. Can't contain it. Can't even tell ya what will come next! And this was all BEFORE coffee. Amazing feat to say the least. So for your pleasure, and you have to sing it out loud...not just read it! Because where would the fun be in just reading it, eh? (Ha..my inner Canadian just came out!)

On the first day of school my teacher gave to me, one shiny desk in a big classroom.

On the second day of school my teacher gave to me, two bathroom passes and one shiny desk in a big classroom.

On the third day of school my teacher gave to me, three essays, two bathroom passes and one shiny desk in a big classroom.

On the fourth day of school my teacher gave to me, four math tests, three essays, two bathroom passes and one shiny desk in a big classroom.

On the fifth day of school my teacher gave to me, five golden rules. Four math tests, three essays, two bathroom passes and one shiny desk in a big classroom.

On the sixth day of school my teacher gave to me, six textbooks, five golden rules, four math tests, three essays, two bathroom passes and one shiny desk in a big classroom.

On the seventh day of school my teacher gave to me, seven homework assignments, six textbooks, five golden rules, four math tests, three essays, two bathroom passes and one shiny desk in a big classroom.

On the eighth day of school my teacher gave to me, eight science journals, seven homework assignments, six textbooks, five golden rules, four math tests, three essays, two bathroom passes and one shiny desk in a big classroom.

On the ninth day of school my teacher gave to me, nine paper cuts, eight science journals, seven homework assignments, six textbooks, five golden rules, four math tests, three essays, two bathroom passes and one shiny desk in a big classroom.

On the tenth day of school my teacher gave to me, ten spelling words, nine paper cuts, eight science journals, seven homework assignments, five golden rules, four math tests, three essays, two bathroom passes and one shiny desk in a big classroom.

On the eleventh day of school my teacher gave to me, eleven books to read, ten spelling words, nine paper cuts, eight science journals, seven homework assignments, five golden rules, four math tests, three essays, two bathroom passes and one messy desk in a big classroom.

On the twelfth day of school my teacher gave to me, twelve sharpened pencils, eleven books to read, ten spelling words, nine paper cuts, eight science journals, seven homework assignments, five golden rules, four math tests, three essays, two bathroom passes and one messy desk in a big classroom.