Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A Lesson Revisited

I was just teaching this to some kiddos just yesterday. If we are not responsible then we will keep making the same mistakes until we take responsibility of them. Ugh! If only I had listened to what I was teaching. I wrote a post on Car Sickness (really...it's not entirely about what you might think!) earlier this summer and as I was writing my thoughts out the other day, they seemed vaguely familiar.

Questions. Doubts. Thoughts. All tumble through my mind. Wondering when and where I lost sight of all that's important.

Struggling. Just like Peter, who had the faith to step out of the boat - because his eyes were on Jesus. And who sunk the moment he looked at the sights around him.

I've stopped looking at Jesus and have let others dictate my relationship with Him. Allowed them to measure if my faith was strong. Looked at the world for confirmation that I was doing alright. And as I did, my God-confidence faltered. I have been allowing others to determine my worth and have let their opinions of things to determine my security.

I know how wrong this is. And yet, instead of stopping it, I reverted to my old self and continued until I felt beaten down and broken.

And at the end of this brokenness, there He is. Arms open wide. Waiting with love.

As I settle into His loving embrace and turn my eyes back to THE Prize, peace envelops me. My faith rises and I desire only Him once again.

If I covet any place n earth but the dust at the foot of the Cross, then I know nothing of Calvary love.
~Amy Carmichael

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