Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Brazil or Bust?

So this whole God-timing thing....very very difficult to walk through. I love the story when all is said and done....but the creation of it all...well, it just stinks.

My visa and passport should have arrived today, and as of right now (9:51pm to be exact), there is not even a record that the USPS has even received it!

This isn't the first time I've encountered complications in the process.  First, the visa took a bit extra time being cleared with the Ministry of Labor in Brazil. Then when my aunt went to the Consulate to finish up the application stateside (oh yea it had to be done in person...not by mail), there was a hold up with a document and that had to be sent back to me and another appointment scheduled. And then, when that appointment came, instead of the normal five day processing was going to be two weeks.  And here we are. My aunt went back to the Consulate yesterday to pick up the visa and passport and thankfully there were no complications! But now....where is said envelope that should have arrived today?

So when do you throw in the towel and give it all up? When is enough, enough?

But then I look to solice in all of this....and I'm reminded of Abraham and Isaac. God waited until the very last moment when Abraham had raised the knife towards his bound son laying upon the altar.  That last moment when the sun gleamed off the sharp edge of the knife. Then and only then did God step in and prevent Abraham from sacrificing the promise He gave him. And somehow through it all, Abraham still had faith. He believed that God could raise Isaac from the dead, if He so chose to. Abraham trusted and believed God at His Word. It may not have made any sense, it may have grieved him deeply, but he still made that choice to trust. To have faith.

Honestly, I'm not so sure I have that same faith right now.  I'm weak. I'm scared. I'm hurting. And for the first time, I feel defeated. But instead of dwelling on this, I must find the strength to stand strong in God no matter the circumstances. To chose faith instead of defeat. To trust the outcome, no matter what it is. To know that God is after character and after my heart...not my agenda.  But the process still stinks...just sayin'.

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