Friday, July 15, 2011

Seasonal Change

It was not by coincidence that my blog was titled "Through the Seasons". My life seems to eminate seasonal changes. There have been times that I have experienced the overwhelming joy of a mountain top and times when I've experienced valleys as empty and bitter as a fierce winter, questioning whether it would ever end. And there's also been the mundane, all too comfortable routines of a dry, hot summer. Each experience and season has hopefully brought me closer to my God, but I will admit that there were times when I questioned God and His love for me. Times when I doubted His blessings would ever come.

For some reason, these last couple of days I've been reminded of all the different seasons I've walked through. As I've pondered it all, I see God's hand in every single detail. From the times I lashed out at Him in anger to the times of sweet fellowship in His Presence. And I've been reminded that there is a season for everything...

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end...

...I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere Him.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11, 14

This past fall was a time of weeping. Weeping that would overwhelm me in an instant. Weeping that stemmed from my grandmother's losing battle with cancer, two tragic deaths at one of our schools, and the closure of a disturbing case for one of my kiddos. For a while there, it seemed like no matter what I did, how hard I tried, or how much I pressed into God...He was silent. And the weeping would not end. But even though I could not see all that God was doing, He was moving. He was not silent. He was faithful and the weeping finally ending. And with it came such a sweet communion with my Savior. He had held me close to His side all throughout the fall and winter and was showing me how to love. How to care deeply. How to love others as He loves.

And as the springtime approached so did the laughter. It was an interesting thing to go from weeping to laughter...but what joy I experienced with it! It was as though God was's time to build you back up, time to refresh you and allow you to bloom where I have planted you (cliche, I know!). There were times that laughter eminated from deep inside my belly and I couldn't contain it...nor did I want to.

Now I am in the middle of my physical summertime and it seems like a spiritual one as well. It's been a time where He is tearing down strongholds in my heart and mending them to suit His needs. He is lovingly teaching me what it means to be open and vulnerable, yet to hide behind His protective covering. He has also begun to show me even more His heart for people and has challenged me to actually act out that love rather than just go through the motions. This means the continual laying down of my own life for His sake. My eyes have to be upon Him. It is not easy...and it hurts. But there is such joy and peace as I do what He asks and as I bask in His Presence.

With each season is a lesson, and with each lesson a desire for more of Him (yes...even when I was angry at Him). I don't know what lies ahead...nor do I really desire to. My heart's desire is to obey Him, right now, in this moment, with the day He's given me. Seasons will come and go, but I can stand strong knowing that my God never changes. The seasons are for my benefit as they are meant to draw me closer to Him, to set eternity in my heart. May it be His glory that shines from my heart and my life all of my days.


A Friend said...

I love your writing style. And may God continue to bless your seasons - and remember that only in pain, do you realize just how strong you are - and how faithful you are to your God. You are rewarded for your faithfulness with your spring and Summer. <3

Terry T said...

You have such a beautiful way of expressing yourself! I love reading every word you have so lovingly written. Keep writing from your heart! You are such a beautiful person and I am so honored to be a part of your life!